A few musings.

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Monday, October 31, 2011

Okay. I know I haven't written for forever. And I'm sorry! On a side not I had a really weird dream with marina and jared in it. Marina was drawing or something and jared came up to her but he was SUPER muscular, like a pro wrestler. It was really weird.

I haven't had anything too exciting happen, so you haven't missed much. I had my birthday a few weeks ago, and that was nice. I got like 270 dollars to spend on whatever. And a  50 dollar gift certificate to a local art store. More watercolors! We had a big dinner with family. Pretty good day.
                    Yesterday it snowed for the very first time. And right now its still snowing. It's very pretty. I'm in my element yo. Also, Happy Hallurrween everyone! Don't die tonight please. I made a deadmau5 head and kitty ears for halloween/fun. About 30 more days until I come back to Utah! So excited, christmas will be so fun. I'll be there from the 2nd of December to the 17th of January. Also, to Jess and Genny and Tess, sorry I'm SUPER awkward when I video chat. You can tell I don't like it that much. Honestly, I hate texting, phone calls, and video chatting. I prefer real life. But since I can't have that, phone calls will do for now. I love you guys! peace out!

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

To any woman whose had a low self-esteem day!

One more thing.
You are beautiful. You are important. You have beautiful eyes. Beauty comes in so many different forms. Long, dark hair with brown eyes. Curly blonde hair with smudgy hazel-gray eyes. Short, pixied red hair with blue eyes. There's so many different features. All gorgeous. Your freckles, your lips, your eyebrows, your small jaw or you prominent cheekbones, it's all beautiful. Every part. So what if you're a little overweight? Own it. Who cares what others think. Be confident. Who cares if your a little "too" tall or a little "too" curvy? There is no such thing as "too" when it comes to your beauty. You are YOU. Which is the best thing you could be. You may have your flaws, like terrible hand eye coordination, or laughing at all the wrong places when with people. Flaws are human, and they are a part of who you are. And you are an amazing person. You may have sinned in the past, and you will do things you'll regret in the future, but who cares. It happens. Just have confidence in yourself. Be who you are. Wear your outlandish style clothes, paint your nails the color no one else would. Throw your social cares for trends in the wind. If they don't like it, they can shove it up their ass, because you weren't asking for their approval anyway.

(I'm in a writing mood. Moral? Clearly, you can see it up there. You are beautiful.)

(it's also 3:30 in the morning.)

Tutus and Musings

So, I finally get around to write in my blog.

I admit, I've been avoiding it. I don't know why. It might be because I don't think there's anything worth writing of late. But I know I need to write, mostly for my benefit, 'cause I know I'll regret it in a few months.

First things first, I'm in school now! A few of my classes are held at this Baptist university, it has free bibles in the front and a prayer box. (I'm going to put a prayer in there, dammit!) I go there Tuesdays and Thursdays from 11:30 a.m. - 4:00 p.m. So I get to sleep in quite a bit. The classes I have there are Algebra 1 (again), Shakespeare (english class), and Biology. My math teacher seems pretty bomb. She has a candy box for the taking because she believes that you do better at math when you have something to eat. Which is fabulous. Shakespeare is fun. The teacher is my sponsor as well, and she's really cool. The science class is okay. Science has never been my favorite. Right now I'm waiting on BYU highschool to email me so I can start my Eastern Hemisphere History online. I'm also waiting for my school to email me the info on my Rosetta Stone I ordered for Japanese. So that's that. As for socializing, I haven't really talked to anyone in my classes that much. Only this girl that complimented my pink tutu skirt, and a dude that saw me reading a World of Warcraft book. We started talking about videogames. Seems like the only way to talk to the male species these days.

You know what I like? I like life. I like it a lot. Love it. I'm so grateful I was born healthy and in a good family. I'm so glad I'm alive. No matter what I'm feeling, depressed or mad, I'm still always glad I'm alive. The thing I want least is a premature death. I always have this nagging feeling in the back of my head that I won't get the chance to grow up and get married and get old. That's what I look forward to. I want to go to a ton of countries, do lots of things, learn several languages. I'm so passionate about life. I love the warm buttery sun on a cool morning, the smell of hotel rooms, the feeling you get when you finally scratch that mosquito bite, and the sight of a happy old couple holding hands down the street. The good and the bad. Everything. Once I die, I want God to let me do life again, cause this is fun.
Rant over, you all are probably like "tl;dr bro."  but that's okay. I just wanted to get my thoughts out there. Love you all.

Thursday, August 25, 2011

Updates n shiz.

Pretty much, all I've been doing is staying home on the internet. You know why? Cause my dang school doesn't start until September! World of Warcraft anyone? Ahem. Anyways. It's been sort of stressful too. I just found out that my step father, (my mom was considering divorce due to some.. complications.) Has cancer. He is going to die by the end of this year, chances are. I forgot the name of it, but it attacks all your internal organs and important body parts, including the brain. It's terrible. And my grandma went to the hospital this a day ago, because she fell and cracked a few ribs. So she's in pain. And my mom is stressed with everything too, she was crying earlier last week. She has to deal with a lot of things lately. I know she still loves my step father, she really does. It's hard for her, and hard for me and Indi to keep things calm. But it's getting better, my mom has been having  good week so far. We celebrated her birthday today. She seemed to have enjoyed it thoroughly. 

I got letters! From Genny and Rachael! And soon to be Jess too! :D That was the highlight of my last three days, I love getting letters. I just need to get some darn stamps so I can send you guys mail too. You guys are awesome. 

Peace out!

Wednesday, August 17, 2011


So, I haven't written in a while, so sorry for that! It's been real busy lately, and now I finally have a laptop! So I can blog more often. Huzzah! It's an Asus, really nice, and we got a little wireless mouse for it. Pretty cute. All this is being payed for by the school I'm going to. They give highschoolers $3,000 to pay for their education. Half of it is for core, the other half is for extra curricular. So they reinverse us, or whatever it's called. Pretty neat. I'm taking a few classes online, and some classes at the site of the program, and two classes at West High school, which is a public normal school! *le gasp!* It's sort of scary. It's so huge, and I feel more like a number here, rather than a student that matters at Walden. Miss that place. But I'll be back for my senior year, which I'm so excited for. It'll be fun. The classes I'm taking here at West are just 1st  and 2nd period. I have Photography 1 and painting, and both seem to have pretty decent teachers. My homeschooling program thing doesn't start till September, So all I'm doing is going to the Public school here for two periods till September. It's hard to splain. Also, on the not of classes, I'ma be taking Taekwondo! Awesome. I'll write more about my week later.

Friday, August 5, 2011


So, I haven't had any time to blog! But  I  shall write a big post when I get all moved in next week!

Here's a lesson for you. Story of the day.
I was rolling up a carpet, cause we were packing up. It was a large carpet, and I am small, so it was a little hard for me to roll up. I was all like, "Mom, this carpet is a pain in the butt to roll up." then I realized  *le trollface* what I said, and added on to my sentence. "You know what else is a pain in the butt? Gay people.... kukukukuku." (if you don't get it, I'm glad you're not corrupted by this cruel, cruel world yet.) Ahaha, I laughed so hard on the inside. But I was trying my best to keep my srsface on.
You could imagine a typical mothers reaction to her baby girls not-too-appropriate joke.
Lesson? Don't make gay jokes around your mother.
anywho, goodnight dudes.

Friday, July 29, 2011

The probably's.

So, most likely, I think I am a terrible friend. I am bad at comforting people and being there for them, since I get distracted so easily by everything going on. I'm a good listener, just not a comfortable.
So, I apologize to all the people I have not comforted very well or abandoned.

On that subject of being a bad friend, I also want to apologize to my favorite female friends, that I have so carelessly abandoned, so to speak, as their friend. I feel really bad that I kept hanging out with Jeffrey after I hooked up with him and not you guys. I was so twitterpated. And, I wish I kept eating lunch with you guys instead of hanging out outside Faulkbags room. Really sorry. I love Jeffrey, but I shouldn't have just ignored you guys. Love can get annoying and in the way. I hope you guys will read this... Tess, Jess, and Genny... sorry. You guys are still my favorite people and I wish we could have hung out before I left.

Sigh. On a happier note, my nails are painted a robin-egg blue, which happens to be one of my favourite colours.